“What parts of you are you putting away?”
A few days ago, I was sitting on my couch reading a book with a warm cup of coffee in my hand when I came across this quote and it hit me as very true.
“We spend our life until we are twenty deciding what parts of ourselves to put in the bag, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again.” -Robert Bly
During our childhood, we learn what’s okay and what’s not okay. What is acceptable and what isn't. We learn how to build defense mechanisms to protect us from the things that hurt. Some of us learn how to use humor to move away from pain. Others learn how to build strong walls and use aggressiveness to keep others away out of fear of being misunderstood or maybe even from fear of rejection.
Me? I learned how to be quite in order to gain approval.
As I grew older, I learned that silence isn’t always a good thing and if I wanted to get to where I wanted to be in life, I needed to learn how to use my words.
Here is the thing,
Those walls serve us.
They fulfill a need.
At least for a while.
And then as we grow through life those walls and defenses a lot of times no longer suite us. They may even be holding us back.
The good news is that if we learned how to go past those walls we will find a great source of energy and potential that can only make your life that much fuller.
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Here is my question for you today to help you self-coach:
• What part of you did you put away and it's no longer suiting you?
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And if you wanted to someone to help you discover the potential that may be awaiting you behind those walls, drop me an email and together we can decide if narrative coaching is for you.
To a self that's always growing and expanding,
Talk soon,
Noorah