Self-development isn't always an easy journey. If it didn't take time, work, and energy, it wouldn't have been a form of عبادة/supplication.
Getting to know ourselves can be very scary. It can. It means we will open the doors to our fears, and uncomfortable feelings (and what if I find something I don't like? Who wants to see that!) Especially when we've put so much of ourselves, thoughts, feelings to the side we don't know all that might come up, or where it will end.
On top of that, we will have to take responsibility too. That's BIG on its own.
But it won't always be scary, and you CAN be friends with all the different parts of you. Yes, even the scary or uncomfortable ones. Even those.
I know this is a time where where a lot of us is spending more time with our thoughts and feeling (being alone in quarantine kinda forces you to do that), so, I wanted to give you a little something to make your journey a little bit easier, a little bit softer, and give you a little more control.
I've put together a list of my favorite 10 self-help books that will comfort your heart, give you tools to work with and be there with you on this beautiful (Yes, I said beautiful 💛) journey.
Here are my top 10 favorite books:
1. The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate by Harriet Lerner
This is honestly one of the favorite books ever and I think everyone should read it! If you're struggling with sharing your thoughts and feelings, if you're carrying way too much luggage-maybe you're doing all feeling or all the thinking in a relationship, or you've been sharing your feeling but the other person doesn't seem to hear, this is a book for you.
2. Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurt by Harriet Lerner
This is another wonderful book by Harriet Lerner (you cant go wrong with any of her books), but this one stood out to me coz helps you work through feelings of anger, resentment and how to speak to each other when you feel hurt and betrayed.
3. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
I love this book. Truly beautiful when it comes to why we go through hard times, why the search for happiness isn't everything, and what really matters. Really good book. A must-read.
4. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown
Brené Brown has done some amazing work around, courage, vulnerability, and showing up. Even when situations are hard and we just wanna run away, hide, and put our armors up. The book gives you language to what's happening inside of you (that's always power), why you do what you do. You can watch her Ted talk and if it speaks to you, check out her book too.
5. Rising Strong by Brené Brown
If you read Brené Brown's "Darling Greatly" book, I encourage you to follow it up with this one too. The thing about vulnerability is that if we do it at some point we might fall... It's just the way it goes... So, in this book Brene writes about how to raise strong when that does happen. A good book for the heart.
6. Making Marriage Simple: Ten Truths for Changing the Relationship You Have into the One You Want by Harville Hendrix, Helen LaKelly Hunt
This is a simple book that will help you see your marriage from a different and empowering lens. It will make sense of all this little fights and arguments, why we tent to work against each other and what we can do in a very simple language that is doable and will make you happier in your relationship.
7. Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative by Austin Kleon
If you're a creative person or someone trying to put their work out there. Maybe it's a book, art, a podcast, a project, whatever it may be. this is a fun book that will help you do just that.
8. Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change by Robin Norwood
I read this book years ago and it opened up my eyes to new things. Why women tend to give so much and why a lot of us may fall for the guys that need to be 'fixed'. The concept of the book is insightful and then it goes on to give stories and scenarios on how it works. If you feel like the title speaks to you, I enrage you to go for it.
9. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
This is a fictional book that tells a story of a man who's searching for signs. I'm not usually a fictional kinda reader but this book spoke to me. Some of my my favorite quotes ever come from this book here.
"The boy and his heart had become friends, and neither was capable now of betraying the other." - Paulo Coelho
10. Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek
I love Simon's work. If you're trying to make something, if you're an entrepreneur or you're trying to share an idea or a thought with the world, this book if for you.
PS- and remember you're not alone, and got this. <3